They look delicious. In some cases, they taste delicious. But they are the Instagram models of the food industry. They will make you happy, THEN TAKE YOU DOWN! You’re there for the main event, not a lousy quesadilla. We have been conditioned in this country to think that the mega dinner that includes sides is not enough. We need a pre-feasting that could be anywhere from five hundred to a thousand calories. Don’t even get me started on the bread and butter.
Eating a ton of carbs before eating another pile of carbs spikes your insulin harder than Antonio Brown spiking a football after a fifty-yard touchdown. My stomach already hurts at many meals before my steak comes out. Why waste this great night out, by filling your body with low-grade chicken fingers, when your forty-five dollar steak is stillon the grill?
Everything great in life is worth waiting. Discipline is key. Just say no to the appetizers. You’ll enjoy your meal, and not have to spend the entire night sitting upright on your bed waiting for the pain to pass. I had ruined my meal many times before it was in front of me, and all I had to show for it was a full stomach of underwhelming chicken wings.
PRO SLOB TIPS
1. If you must get appetizers, ONE is more than sufficient. Even in a group, getting one bite should hold you over until the meal comes out.
2. If given the option, turn away the bread. Unless you plan on eating a low carb meal, the bread and other carbs are the biggest culprits when it comes to a full stomach.
3. Chew slow. The longer it takes you, the faster you will realize that your stomach is filling up.
4. Drink a lot of water if you’re considering ordering appetizers. Pound that first glass of water when you sit down at the table. It will trick your stomach into feeling content while waiting for your entree.